Tuesday, December 22, 2015

I watched Star Wars...


Let me just start by saying... I have NEVER seen Star Wars. Maybe I am only one in thousands but I just never really had the desire. I think I have seen bits and pieces of the newer ones- you know, just from them being on TV or whatever. But sci-fi just isn't my thing I guess. So... here comes the NEW Star Wars with all it's hype and jazz and fancy schmancy-ness. My husband kept "teasing" me that we would be going to McDonald's and to see Star Wars for our anniversary (which happened the be the day it came out). He even went so far as to tell me that he had OUTFITS for us to wear when we went and saw it. KILL. ME. NOW. Luckily he WAS joking and took me to eat at Elway's at The Ritz-Carlton and to listen to The Colorado Symphony play Handel's Messiah (way to completely knock it out of the park this year Captain Zufelt). But I digress... this post IS about Star Wars. I'm not completely mindless when it comes to Star Wars... I don't live under a rock. I know Darth Vader is bad, and Luke and Leia are brother and sister...  
I asked Devin if he really did want to see the new movie (of course the answer was a resounding YES) and that I would go with him to watch it. He said that if we were going to do that, then I NEEDED to watch ALL the other Star Wars movies from the beginning... I agreed. We decided to watch them after Charlotte (the 2 year old) goes to bed and during her naps if needed....

Within the first MINUTE of the film I paused it
"WHO the heck is 'The Empire' and WHY are they having a Civil War? The words are going too fast for me to comprehend what's happening- can we read them again? Maybe twice more so I understand?" 
My husband replied with, "Ssshhh, just watch the movie nothing has even happened yet!" 
Some other comments I made during the movie:
"Darth Vader's breathing is REALLY annoying me"
"Ben Kenobi sounds an awful lot like Obi Won Kenobi..." 
"What the heck kind of farming do they do?" 
"Seriously Luke? Not a SINGLE tear after losing your family?" 
"How can Princess Leah? Leia? Hear with those cinnamon rolls over her ears?" 
"All this gibberish talk is giving me a headache"
"There is NO WAY that anyone took that many shots and MISSED that many times!" 
'The way Luke looks at Leia is seriously creepy" 
"Harrison Ford man!" 
"So, no one really uses the force or believes in it yet Vader can strangle a guy?" 
"DID OBI WON JUST DIE!?!?!?!?" 
"WHERE THE HECK DID HE GO!?" 

We stopped and started this movie and grand total of... 7 times. I fell asleep watching this movie 7 times and had to restart it. Each time Devin would ask me if I remembered where we were. The first time I fell asleep it was within the first 9 minutes of the movie. One day Devin asked if I remembered what happened and I said, "Yeah, Luke's uncle and aunt died and he wanted to go with Obi Won to Alderaan (yes I used google to learn how to spell that) to learn the ways of the force and become a Jedi like his father". He gave me an incredulous stare to which I responded "And now I feel like Penny from 'Big Bang Theory' because I SHOULD NOT know that." I finally finished it yesterday. Devin laid down next to me as I (again) started from where I left off. It was the end flight scene. He said, "Ooooo this is where it gets good!" And I said, "Are you sure?" 
When it finished he said, "You did it! 5 more to go!"
This is going to take me forever. 
Overall I guess I just DON'T get the hype yet. Devin reminded me that this movie was made in the 70s and for a movie made in the 70s it's pretty fantastic. I guess he is right. I will watch the rest of the movies, slowly but surely... if only to watch a young Harrison Ford with sweet hair run across my screen. And if nothing else, they put me to sleep.

{Sorry to all the super fans whose life is Star Wars! I respect your love and devotion to it as you respect my indifference} 

1 comment:

andrea said...

You make me smile whitney!