Monday, November 30, 2015

Our last baby

Yes, this new baby (or "baby baby" as my husband likes to call him) will be our very last. The reasons are personal and private, but mostly medical based. We feel good about this being our last baby and we really feel like this baby completes our family nicely. Charlotte won't be an only child, and won't have to deal with her crazy parents all on her own! And Devin and I each have 2 hands, one for each of our children.
"Man on Man defense" as I had a friend describe it to me once.
There is something both sad and exhilarating in knowing that this is my last pregnancy. Let's be honest here, I don't do pregnancy well. I feel like crap, I look like crap, and my body just EXPANDS to no end. One day Devin said to me, "That's what you do when you are pregnant... you eat, and you sleep." And it's true, that's basically what I do! I cried to my doctor because of the weight I have already gained and she basically told me not to stress out about it (which was nice to hear from a doctor). I will say, it's been so NICE not working the majority of this pregnancy and being able to NAP every day! HALLELUJAH! Those 12 hour clinical days in the beginning were brutal though. Those sucked the life right out of me. It was like, I hit week 6 and baby said "I'M HERE TO STAY! HORRAY! LET'S MAKE YOU FEEL HORRIBLE!". But I really am trying to enjoy this second, and last pregnancy. I'm trying to enjoy the naps, and the EATING, and the extra snuggles I am stealing from Charlotte. Because I won't get this time again. Was it the smartest idea to get pregnant right at the end of nursing school? Meh, maybe I should have waited until AFTER clinicals but we knew the time was right. This pregnancy has definitely been trying. I have had a few things happen to my body that were concerning to me, but mostly I have just felt like crap. I thought week 12 would get here and my body would be like "OK! Let's be normal now!" But no. Oh no. Not to mention my SKIN is freaking out. My skin looks worse than it when I was a teenager. AND my body has just EXPLODED everywhere. I feel like I am much more active this pregnancy (HELLO!!!! I have been working out 4-5 times a week! And I didn't workout PERIOD with Charlotte!) but regardless I have expanded the space I take up... and it isn't cute. I'm not the cute little long torso girl with the basketball tummy. It's just not me and I'm trying to embrace it.
But I am trying SO HARD to enjoy this pregnancy! I am trying to enjoy every little kick and movement and sweet tiny outfit we find for this new babe. Because let's be honest... we have practically ZERO clothes for this kid. Devin is convinced he will spend the summer in only diapers. I reminded him that it snows in May. 

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