This post has been on my mind for a few weeks with Valentine's Day QUICKLY approaching (as in... it's tomorrow... so don't forget)
But a few weeks ago I was doing dishes while Charlotte was eating a graham cracker happily in her bumbo and I decided to turn on Disney Radio. I sang my way through some Beauty and the Beast songs and a few catchy things from "High School Musical" shamelessly before the song, "That's How You Know" from Enchanted came on. I was singing my little heart out when it hit me... none of the things she was listing was how I KNEW my husband loves me.
I looked over at Charlotte and I told her, "don't think these are the only ways that guys can show girls that they love them!"
So, for all you kids out there who haven't found "the one" yet here is what real love looks like...
(I love this little gem I found on Dr Laura's page the other day)
-My husband always takes out the trash. Always. The only time I have ever done it is these past few weeks while he was gone.
-My car is ALWAYS taken care of. Oil changes, tires, whatever it needs- Devin makes sure it's done.
-He pays the bills. I don't work, I'm going to school and taking care of Charlotte which ends up being a 24/7 "job" but I don't worry about getting the bills paid.
-He held my hand and never left my side (except when I sent him away to eat-and not in front of me) while I was in labor. He sat on the edge of a bathtub for over an hour and let me squeeze the liven' daylights out of his hand. He went and got ice cold water and a washcloth to wipe my brow in-between pushes. When I look at photos of Charlotte's birth I can SEE that love he has for me. It still makes me tear up.
-He lets me sleep. There have been a few KEY times where I remember him taking Charlotte and taking care of her while I slept. One specific time was right after we brought her home and I was so exhausted I didn't even get under the covers. He let me and my mom sleep until 1am and it was a beautiful thing. Another time he came home after a long day of work and let me shower and go right to bed until midnight. That's real love right there.
-HE ALWAYS let's me eat his dinner if he orders something better than me at a restaurant.
-He also let's me finish his Oreos.
-And he always lets me have the last bite of any dessert we are sharing.
-If he is home, he changes the diapers.
-He lets me have ME time.
Love isn't the things he can BUY for you. It isn't even the flowers or chocolates or little love notes... it's in the everyday. In marriage you HAVE to find the extraordinary in the ordinary. Learn to recognize the small acts of love. Because those little things really are the big things. I feel like too often people forget that. I know there are a lot of reasons why the divorce rate is so high (oh pornography how I loath you and your destructiveness to the family unit... and LUST... ugh.) but I feel like a lot of people once the "magic" is gone they think they aren't in love anymore so they go find someone else to give them that "special feeling." Ok people... I have something to say that might shock you but that feeling only goes away when you STOP TRYING! In the beginning you both are trying so hard- once you are in a relationship DON'T STOP TRYING! All too often I have seen people slump into the "married funk."
You know what I'm talking about right?
Sweats, weight gain, no makeup, hair not done, no longer going to the gym, cut my hair because the kids came along (and please don't use the excuse that you don't have money or time for yourself. Target sells some super cute and affordable clothes and shoes! And drugstore makeup is just fine... and if you claim you don't have time for makeup ladies I would direct you to my "5 minute face" tutorial)
Don't forget yourself and don't forget your spouse when the kids come along- that seems to be a wedge in the relationship sometimes. I know I struggled with it after C was born. My mom took me to Target and told me that I needed stuff that fit me NOW because I could not let my husband come home to a wife who had stayed in PJ's all day. I could probably ramble on and on about this all day... but here are my real points to this post...
#1. Hollywood's version of love isn't real love. Real love is when they let you have the last piece of their favorite cheesecake (or something like it...)
#2. Don't forget to love yourself
#3. Don't ever stop trying to better your relationship
Happy (almost) Valentine's Day!