Saturday Devin went skiing all day and I was all set up to bake for an upcoming wedding (3 batches of pink oreo truffles, 3 batches of toffee bars, and 2 large chocolate pb cookie batches.) I woke up early with Devin and got to work at about 7 am. When C went down for her nap I took the opportunity to shower and put some makeup on. As I was getting dress and reaching for my yoga pants because, I'm basically stuck in the house all day, I reached for my mint skinny corduroy pants instead. These pants have been my goal since having Charlotte and I try them on once a month just to see. As I put both legs and attempted to get them up my now big birthing hips I wondered why I kept doing this to myself. Why not forego my "skinny" clothes and just accept that I've had a baby and my body isn't the same. And then... they zipped up. Albeit a bit "painted on" they fit. And I wore those suckers ALL DAY LONG. When Devin got home I said, "hey guess what these are!?" And he said, "Um, pants from J Crew?" Ok... yeah... but it was a big victory for me. It's never been easy for me to lose weight. Not ever. I've always had a bigger more "muscular" build (HAVE YOU SEEN MY ARMS AND CALVES!?) and my hips can no longer lie... they say "girl you have had a baby" and that's OK. Everyone's body is different and some girls are able to bounce right back no problem (like my mother who assured me that I would as well... the woman had six pack abs after 4 kids). But I'm not that girl. I have never been that girl. I'm finally down to the weight I was when I went in for my first OB appointment with Charlotte... but my body IS different now regardless of what I weigh. I felt ambitious and tried on ALL of my pre-pregnancy jeans and yes, I still have some work to do to get those comfortably over my big bootay. (I have some amazing jeans I forgot about! I can't WAIT to wear them!) But I'm getting there! I am getting rid of some of my clothes that are too big (or that I no longer wear and haven't worn and don't plan on wearing), I don't need that kind of negativity in my closet. I might put them away IF (and that's a big IF) we have another baby very very very far in the future from now. Accepting your body and loving your body is hard. I think it's harder than a lot of people want to admit. In this new year coming up I am going to set realistic expectations for myself (like, I want to fit comfortably into my old Hudson jeans by my birthday) but I'm also going to show my body more love and stop with the negativity as best I can. No matter what the number in your jeans says, love yourself. Slow progress is better than no progress at all. Especially for me.