Friday, November 15, 2013

Watching her grow

Watching my sweet girl grow is one of the best things I have even been able to witness.
It's also the saddest.
From finding out I was pregnant and watching my belly swell with her, to seeing her grow and develop right before my eyes on the outside... it's just plain amazing. 
I freak out every time she rolls
Just the other day I went into her room to check on her while she was "napping" (she naps on her belly) and she had rolled over and was smiling at me and watching her mobile.
Stop growing up please! It's breaking my heart. 
The other night Devin and I were talking...
We stress more about money these days than we ever ever ever have
Our crappy subaru is really crappy and is eating lots of money
Our garage door broke
And we are having to take out loans for school that we didn't think we were going to need to do...
I cried all the way home after meeting with financial aide. 
I was convinced that I no longer wanted to go to nursing school and that I would bite the bullet and try and find a better job that I could do with my current degree.
(Don't worry it's still happening)
Then Devin said, "I hate my life." and I said, "Yeah, I hate it sometimes too."
We both looked at each other... and we knew it wasn't true. 
He said, "No, I don't mean that. I hated being in the junk yard for 6 hours today trying to get a part off of a car so we could save $100. I hated that. Overall it's pretty amazing. We are so very blessed."
He is right. 
I said, "Yes we are but life is so much harder than it used to be. I feel more overwhelmed now than I ever have." 
Charlotte started crying so Devin went to get her... he came out and said, "Look at her. Life might be harder but it's so worth it."
He is right. 
Life IS harder now but the more I think about it... there isn't anything in my life I would change...
Especially my family...
My little family that I helped create is the best thing in my entire life. 
It is such a privilege to be married to my man
And to be the mommy of my sweet baby girl
And to watch her grow...
We are all learning and growing together these days.

P.S. This baby girl had better be going through a growth spurt because this week has been awful as far as sleeping goes... Still sayin' she is going to be an only child. 

1 comment:

Tearsa Roberts said...

I go through the exact same thing with my husband. It is so hard building a stable life with a little baby. They take so much time, energy and money. We pretty much decided we will work as hard as we could these next years so we can build a stable life for our kids, even if it means we are so stressed and busy and hating life. Your relationship will be stronger because of going through those trials together! Good luck girl and keep your head up!