Monday, October 28, 2013

Last Friday at Nordstrom

I'm skipping "It's OK... Monday" to bring to you a story
A story about what happened at the mall last Friday
Because I am just sure someday I will find this funny. 
Warning... this post is about poop.
Last week was a busy week for our family. Doctor appointments, church meetings, school meetings, helping friends move... I feel like I hardly see Devin during weeks like these (and he left at 4am today for work). So I was happy when Devin suggested that C and I go to the mall on Friday to get out and do something fun. Turns out I had a lot of errands to run at the mall. Getting Devin's watch fixed, returning a candle that Devin didn't like the smell of (ha!), and picking out new shampoo at Sephora (FYI I love bumble and bumble). It was all going so well! C was just hanging out, seeing what there was to see... and eventually she fell asleep leaving me some time to do what I needed to get done. I go thinking "hey maybe we can even run to Walmart after and get stuff to bake cookies!" Devin's watch was fixed, the candle was returned, we got our shampoo (and another sample of the glam glow mask!), I got my free lipstick at MAC (Rebel, in case you wondered) and I even stopped by the Bobbi Brown counter for a sample of their foundation. Shopping with a baby totally rocks! People are so much nicer to you! So we stopped at the Coach store and J Crew too... you know... just to window shop. By this time C wakes up- not grumpy or anything- just staring at me. So I decide to feed her in Nordstrom before heading off to Walmart. Has anyone else nursed in Nordstrom? It's awesome! They have a legit mother's room with a nice couch and magazines. It was great! That is... until C has the biggest blowout of her life. I didn't notice, however, until my hand got all up in it (oh yeah... it gets better).  Trying not to get crap anywhere else I pick her up only to realize that it is all down her back, AND on my brand new leggings. BOTH LEGS! What. The. Heck. Of course I brought her extra clothes but who thinks to pack themselves an extra pair of pants in case their kid craps on them? Yeah, not me. So I get her cleaned up and changed and try my hardest to get as much poop off of my leggings as I possibly can. Did I mention C found this a great time to test out the acoustics of the bathroom? She pitched the biggest fit! Screaming, wailing, arms flying, legs kicking, red in the face fit. Please just let me get this crap off of my legs kid and we will get you home! At this point I don't really know what to do. My car is completely on the other side of the mall and I smell like a portapotty. I did the only thing I could do. I grabbed my kid and all my stuff and my smelly self hightailed it out of that mall as fast as we could. I felt like it was Black Friday come early the way I had to dodge people. Get out of my way slow pokes I have got a bag full of poopy clothes and I am covered in it myself. Luckily we made it to the car without too many weird glances. I called my mom and she laughed. I emailed Devin and told him and he said, "that's my girl." 
I'm so sure someday I will tell Charlotte about all this and we will both laugh.
But when I was in Nordstrom covered in feces... it sooooo was not funny.
Happy Monday 


Heath Income said...

The last picture of C looks like she was feeling very sorry about the whole thing. The details might change but if you have kids you are going to have a similar story at some point. Sarah didn't bring extra clothes for herself either when Adalynne threw up in entire bottle at the beginning of our flight that was the third connection out of four on our way home for Christmas last year just after Avery was born. You will laugh at some point, probably when it happens to someone else :) Lynne

Diane's Photography said...

I am cracking up Whitney...we've all had the poop experience! She does look super sorry though in her last photo....haahaahaa...
shaking my head with a smile haahaa