Monday, September 2, 2013

Being Married


I am going to admit something to you that pretty much only Devin and one of my friends knows... Each year I read, "The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands" by Dr. Laura. This is my 3rd year doing it. And I love it. I especially needed it this year since we have Charlotte and a lot of times Devin and I (as a couple) get put on the back burner to the ever present Devin and I as parents. Think what you will about this, but I love the book and I love how it makes me want to be a better wife to my husband.
Marriage is hard at times. Not all the time... but there are times when it is hard. I'm not going to beat around the bush about that. Anyone who says different is lying to you and to themselves. But marriage is also beautiful, and lovely and so much fun. But it can be hard! Throwing 2 people who have their own problems and trials, their own quirks and upbringings into one and asking them to get along and create a new family... phew... No wonder the divorce rate is so high. I was told before Devin and I got married that I should spend more time planning my marriage than my wedding. I can't remember who told me this but thank you. Thank you for opening my eyes to the fact that marriage takes effort. I don't want to say "work" because that attracts some type of negative attention. I like the word effort. Yes, marriage brings on its own form of trials. Bills, finances, who cleans the sink, why aren't the dishes clean, it's your turn to change a diaper... and other trials. But all the effort and the "work" are worth it.
Putting a little bit more effort into your marriage will do wonders I promise.
Some things I have tried to implement MORE into my marriage are:
Dating.
Put their needs first (after that diaper is changed).
Stop being selfish.
Ask them about their day.
 Listen.
 Really Listen.
Respond with love and understanding.
Hold hands.
Kiss hello and goodbye.
Hug each other.
Be grateful for them.
Forgive them for their shortcomings.
Forgive them for the things they do "wrong"
Forgive them for not being mind readers.
JUST FORGIVE.
TALK and not just about the kids.
Cook dinner!
Eat that dinner together (even if you didn't make it)
Surprise them! (A candy bar works well)
Love them despite their flaws- you aren't perfect either.
And you know what? Who cares if they clean the sink out or not. The sink gets cleaned. I never have to take out the garbage. But the garbage gets taken out. I have found in my marriage that the more I give the more I receive. If I give love and kindness and understanding- I get so much more in return. Marriage is two imperfect people trying their best to make it through this crazy life and be happy. Don't give up trying. Even when you feel yourself slipping from making that effort (because let's face it, we all get a little complacent with our relationships) remind yourself that what you have it wonderful.


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