Monday, September 30, 2013

Apologies to my body

I have done a post like this before- many moons ago it seems
Back when I thought I was "fat"
Before I got pregnant and realized what huge felt like
So it seemed fitting that I do an all new post apologizing to my body because Saturday I went and visited my friend Sarah and she had some friends over to watch the Relief Society broadcast and of course (since we are girls) we started talking about our bodies. One of the girls exclaimed, "We need to love our bodies NOW! Because if we don't love them now then we aren't going to love them when we are 40!" And that really struck home with me. I only get ONE body- this is it! And I had better stop telling it negative things because it's amazing... I mean have you SEEN the cute little life that formed inside of me? That's pretty awesome.
(Left: 1 weeks before Charlotte was born. 35 weeks pregnant. Right: 16 weeks postpartum.)

Dear body, 
I apologize...
-For weighing you almost daily... I know that's not healthy. I promise to stop that.
-For TRYING to get you into those mint cords I bought 2 weeks before I found out I was pregnant. We will getcha back in there sooner or later.
-For comparing you to other people's bodies... you are MINE and you are different and that is OK.
-For thinking you are ugly
-For all the scrapes and bruises and cuts I have given you... it just means we are living.
-For all the relaxing and resting we haven't gotten lately- I hear it will come eventually.
-For not appreciating you.
-For calling you names. 
-For not recognizing that many people who HAVEN'T had babies would LOVE to have a body like you.
-For being so critical of every tiny detail.
-For not seeing your beauty. 

My body is mine and I won't get another one. It is the place in which my spirit resides- my home. I had better start recognizing and appreciating the wonder that it is... I'm working on that. And celebrating the little victories... Like trying on your cheetah print pencil skirt (size 4!) and not expecting it to fit... and it does! I ran up to husband and said, "GUESS WHAT SIZE THIS IS!?" He said 4....

Happy Monday my friends!
What apologies would you say to your own body? 

Friday, September 27, 2013

Fall Bucket List

It's going to be October in a few days... OCTOBER!
I love October. Because October is fun and right behind it comes November and December- two of my other favorite months (For the record I also enjoy February and May). I have been thinking about things I want to do this fall and I'm so excited that it's here! I made this list on my phone originally so I could inform Devin of the things I wanted to do in the coming month (ha!)

#1. Have a pumpkin EVERYTHING party!

I am so excited about this. It's planned for next Wednesday and I can't wait! I have always wanted to do an all out pumpkin fest... and now it's happening. Stay tuned for that ;-)

#2. Go apple picking!

There is a local place that lets you pick your own apples! Devin said, "Yeah it's the grocery store." Party pooper. He won't be making that field trip but C and I still will because I have ALWAYS wanted to do it. 

#3. Hay ride!
I haven't been on a hay ride since college... and I fell off the wagon (don't ask). I'm hoping for a more fun and safer option this year with C. Devin is down for this one. P.S. I really miss going to the Avila Barn. If you go there have extra fun for me ok? 

#4. Corn maze!
I haven't ever done a corn maze. I have to admit I'm kind of freak out to do it but I feel like I just have to ya know? I think I might get lost. I have a terrible sense of direction. 

#5. Picnic!

I just want to find somewhere gorgeous and pack a nice lunch and eat it with my family. Simple- but it sounds like so much fun!

#6. Pumpkin patch!

We went to a pumpkin patch a little late in the game last year and ended up just getting our pumpkins at Walmart (can you blame us? They are cheap!) But this year Devin has promised to take us to the "pick your own" pumpkin patch. And I'm so excited! 

What's on your fall bucket list? 
What should I add to mine?
P.S. Have a fantastic weekend! I am looking forward to having my husband home and The General Relief Society Meeting (which I am planning on attending baby free!) 

Thursday, September 26, 2013

Crush Confession Corner

I was watching Joseph Gordon-Levitt do a lip sync with Jimmy Fallon the other day and the thought went through my head, "That was a good crush I had." It got me thinking about all my other childhood crushes and from whence they came. So here are my crush confessions... In no particular order... 

#1. The HUMAN Casper
(Devon Sawa)

I can't tell you how many times I watched this movie. And how many times I wished that this cute boy would come down my stairs and dance with me. Plus his hair is awesome is it not? No clue if he was ever in anything else... 

#2. Yes... JTT
(or Johnathan Taylor Thomas)

Home Improvement... Man of the house... I'll be home for Christmas. This boy was beautiful (his boyfriend thought so too obviously). I even had JTT stickers in my pencil box in 5th grade... yes. 

#3. Joseph Gordon-Levitt

One viewing of Angels in the Outfield and I was in love. I mean look at that face! And how cute that he prayed for the Angels to win. I really want him and Zooey Deschanel to get married. Because they are adorable together. 

#4. Brad Renfro 

If you ever saw "Tom and Huck" (With JTT OF COURSE!) then you know who Brad Renfro is. He was Huck. And if I couldn't have Tom then I definitely wanted Huck! It totally broke my heart to hear that he died a few years back :(

#5. Lance Bass

I remember watching my first N Sync concert on the Disney Channel. Immediately Lance was my favorite. I guess I have a thing for gay men. They are just pretty. I even rented that lame movie he was in. Has anyone else ever seen it? It was called "On the Line" if you're interested.

#6. Hottie combo from Hocus Pocus... Thackery Binx and Max Dennison
(Sean Murray and Omri Katz)

Let me just date myself a little here and say that I remember seeing this film in THEATERS and I had it on VHS! I still watch it every year. It's the best. And these dudes are so not as cute grown up (sorry guys!) Hence why I say JGL was a good choice.

#7. Prince William

Oh be still my beating heart. I loved Wills. I still adore him and I adore Kate Middleton. But honestly he was my first crush (now Harry is the cuter one-let's be honest). I was so convinced I would move to London and he would fall madly in love with me. I have a journal from when I was 11 (that my mom just mailed to me) and my 3 top wishes were 1. Move to London. 2. Become rich. 3. Marry Prince William. I even wrote him letters. I had a poster. And a whole book of photos my mom bought me. He is my #1 childhood crush (although he is 7 on this list). Not going to lie I still have a dream that me and Kate and Devin and Wills are destined to be friends... just sayin'. 

Who's your childhood crush/crushes??? I'm dying to know! Spill the beans! 

Wednesday, September 25, 2013


Devin and I realized not too long ago that we have lived in this city for over a year and we haven't really done any exploring of it! Our excuse is that our schedules never matched up for us to have day's off today for the last year. So now that he has a more "normal" schedule we have vow to go out and do things! So one Saturday we were just hanging around the house and Devin said, "Let's get out and do something- why don't you look and see what's going on this weekend." Turns out the Nature and Science Museum was having a free day for military members and their family! SCORE! So we loaded up Charlotte and went! When we got there we found out that a lot of places (museums and such) have free day's throughout the year! And they aren't just for military members. They even give you a pamphlet with all the free days listed. We have them synced in our calendars so we know when they are coming up. So where ever you are try and find something cool you haven't done before! And see if you can do it for free! Seriously- it's awesome. I do have to say that if crowds aren't your thing then free day's might not be for you. We didn't really mind it since we have a noisy babe. So far we have done the Nature and Science Museum and the Art Museum... which it turns out taking a babbling baby to a SHHH SHHH art museum isn't the BEST idea in the world but she did great and we saw lots of cool stuff... although I have to admit I don't GET the art that looks like I did it in preschool... to each their own! But seriously, we are learning that while we can do EVERYTHING like we used to we can still DO stuff. It just takes a little more planning and good morning naps oh and a hooter hider because a fed baby is a happy baby. 

^^^ We are fans of dinosaurs

^^^Family photo! Look at how toasty Charlotte is! 

^^^ They had an age simulator... that's what Dev would look like at 75 if we were obese HAHA!


^^^I remember having one of these as a kid and LOVING IT! 

^^^Art Museum!

^^^C was getting a little fussy... Oops

We love getting out and experiencing this fun city!

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Cake Batter Blondies

So... I have actually been making these for a while now... like... for 2+ years. I haven't made them since we moved out of California though. I blame that on: #1. Not having a bunch of teenagers to listen to me talk every Sunday anymore. #2. Devin was tired (!!!) of all of my treats except on Holidays (and then all he wanted was chocolate peanut butter pie... stay tuned for that lovely thing come November). #3. PREGNANCY. I had a complete aversion to doing/making anything. But since we decided to throw a dessert party for our cute friends here I decided to dust this ol' baby off (for the kids you know...). If you love cake batter ANYTHING... you will adore these. 

Cake Batter Blondies:

You’ll need:
    2 boxes yellow cake mix
    ½ cup oil
    2 eggs
    1/2 cup milk (about)
    1/2 cup rainbow sprinkles
    1 bag white chocolate chips

To make:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Combine the cake mix and sprinkles in a large bowl until incorporated. Then mix in the oil and eggs. Add the milk slowly just until the batter is well mixed but still thick. Place better in a greased 9x13 pan. Bake for 25-30 minutes or just until the edges turn golden. LET COOL FOR AT LEAST AN HOUR. Then enjoy J

Monday, September 23, 2013

Just words

No photos today... Just words
I have been having lots of mixed emotions lately and I feel as if I don't get them out then I am going to burst. You see... I am going back to school for nursing. And I am incredibly torn as to how I feel about it. Before we moved away from California, Devin and I had many discussions about "school". I had quit my job months before to do pre-requisites for PA school so that when we moved here I would be ready to go. Turns out, they kept adding  another class each year and I was put further and further away from that dream. We also discussed having children. We knew we would sometime in the next few years but I definitely wanted to have my career first. I didn't want to be a mom who gave up on her dreams because she had a child. I didn't ever want to have feelings like, "Well if I didn't have a baby then I could have done... etc." I realize how naive that thought process was- because now I understand that it isn't really giving up a dream, it's gaining a better one. Before Charlotte came along I was still planning on going back to work afterwards. Our first night home I broke down and told my mom that there was no way I could do it. I can honestly say that going back to work did not feel like the right thing to do. However, I still had my dreams.The things I wanted before Charlotte, I still wanted. I want to have a usable skill and a career because Charlotte and whoever else comes along won't always be little. Maybe to you it sounds selfish, but I NEED to have something marketable. Especially since Devin is in the military. Who knows what will happen? I talked to my mom and to Devin and on a whim I applied to nursing school. I honestly didn't think I was going to get in... but then I got called in for an interview. On the drive down there (even when I set up the interview) I kept thinking to myself, "There is no way I am going to do this." Even when I got there and was walking to the front doors I didn't have high hopes for it. And then I walked in and I felt like I belonged. It was the strangest feeling. I had my interview- set up my entrance exam and went home to tell Devin. I was excited. And I felt guilty about being excited. Because it meant time away from Charlotte. LOTS of time away. And tons of hard work in my near future. I headed off to California and thought about what this meant. If I even REALLY wanted to do it or not. Would it make me a bad mother? Because she will definitely have to be in daycare some of the time. Can we even AFFORD for me to do this? I studied as much as I could for the entrance exam during Charlotte's naps but I didn't feel like it was enough. The day of my exam I went into it with the attitude of "Ok, if I pass I know I'm supposed to do this... if I fail then it just wasn't meant to be." I was the first one done- so that freaked me out. I passed with flying colors. 100% on math. 92% overall combined for reading comprehension, grammar, and vocabulary. I enrolled, picked out my scrub sizes, did my drug test... and I was still excited. Yes, I am terrified of doing this. Yes, sometimes I feel like this is going to make me a bad mother because I am going to be away from my sweet baby girl. And yes we are going to be broke as a joke for 2 years (no more J Crew... and pretty much just top ramen to eat...) But I just have to remind myself that this is right. I know it is. As hard as it is going to be it is the right thing to do. This will set a good example for Charlotte of gaining an education and following your dreams. I just have to remember and remind myself that I can still be a good mom while working hard and going after my dreams. 

Friday, September 20, 2013

Charlotte in California

I would be lying if I said that I completely appreciated living in California the majority of my life. I would be lying if I said that we went to the beach as often as I would have liked and that I wasn't dying to get out and live somewhere new for awhile. Maybe it was because I grew up there? And I wanted an adventure. Silly me. I miss it so much. I will admit that this trip was sentimental for me- me bringing my daughter to my home town. I cried more than once. She slept in my old room... the room I came back to after my first date and after Devin proposed. We drove by my old high school... drove on the roads I learned to drive on... went to the stores I used to go to with my mom... I miss it. I miss having my mom close. Where I can call her and have her go check to see if I turned the Christmas lights off (which I did on  more than one occasion). Where we could go and have lunch on any given day just because we could. I miss going to the beach at the drop of a hat just because we feel like it. I can honestly say that my heart ached for the longing of moving back most of the time. I also have to be honest and say that I  missed the home that we have now and what we have created here. And I missed my friends! I have made some amazing friends here. I think it would be perfect if I could just move all my cute friends back to California with me... that would be amazing. I hope we can move back to California some day (although I am hoping our next move will be to England... keep your fingers crossed for me).  We had so much fun in California. It was so hard to leave my mom. My mom is the best. And it was so fun seeing everyone while we could. I just wish we had more time. Enjoy the excessive photos ;-)  

{C on her first plane ride! She was amazing... not a peep out of her!}

{First stop after Grandma picked us up was IN N Out of course!}

{Okay... I totally miss In N Out too. YUM!}

{These little babes were so cute with Charlotte}

{My favorite sushi place! Delish. We went twice.}

{My mom was a good sport... she does not like sushi.}

{C looks HUGE here! This was outside of my old office in SLO.}

{My mom and I have more than one matching outfit- and I am OK with that}

{Smiling for Grandpa!}

{She was such a great sport letting me drag her everywhere}

{This we dubbed her new "California girl" outfit}

{Metting "Grandma #3" for the first time! We love you Diane!}

{Lunch in Downtown SLO}

{GORGEOUS day and YUMMY food... Wish I would have gotten a photo with Shawna. So sad}

{Follow your bliss baby girl}

{I miss seeing the ocean every day}

{Grandma taught Charlotte how to be a professional shopper}

{Ok- I can't tell you HOW many times my mom and I have been in this EXACT fitting room trying on clothes. So fun to have C there with us this time.}

{This has nothing to do with our trip- I Just love her little stripped booty!}

{My mom is an excellent musician. She even let Charlotte play a little haha}

{Just had to have a photo of a REAL nursing room! Although tiny it was sooo nice}


{I love that we came back to the place where Devin proposed!}

{Gorgeous labor day!}

{My old stomping grounds... used to work at 4 different stores down here}

{If you ever were in need of some sandals...}

{Charlotte took her nap on the pier}

{First time with her toes in the sand and feeling the ocean water! She LOVED it!}

{If you haven't ever had a real huckleberry lemonade... do it... It's amazing}

{Our trip ended with doughssants (fake cronuts) and they were amazing)}

We miss you California. And we miss you Grandma! So so so much. A little piece of our hearts will always be there... Until next time!