Tuesday, July 23, 2013

To New Moms, From a New Mom


Dear new Mama's, this one if for you (and for me too).
 I know you are getting tons of advice (not to mention unwanted belly rubs and comments) so take this post with a grain of salt. 
I am going to tell you the best piece of advice I ever got. And it wasn't from a friend or from my sisters or my mom (sorry mom you do give good advice though). This piece of advice came from a patient's wife at work. I was about 30+ weeks pregnant and was sick and tired of the comments I was getting. "Wow, you're really big for having so far still to go."... "Looks like you will be going on an extreme weight loss program soon."... "Be sure to put your baby to sleep on her tummy!"... "Be sure to put your baby to sleep on her back!"...
You can imagine my disgruntled nature when this lady said, "I am going to give you the best piece of advice." She could see my reluctance in believing that she, a stranger, could have any advice for me that was "the best." But it was. "No really, I know you are getting lots of unsolicited advice from people but this is going to be the best one I promise."
"OK" I said.
"Regardless of what ANYONE else says, your mother, you mother-in-law, your friends ANYONE... Do what YOU feel is best for you and YOUR baby." 
And my jaw hit the floor.
It really has been the best advice I got.
You see, when Charlotte was born I had all sorts of opinions and ideas about what I would do as a mother. They become in a sense my "commandments" before she came.
But you know what? I'm doing what I feel is right for me and for her- regardless of what anyone else says... and it feels good. Regardless of what I have read in books too (yeah so she is now 9 weeks old and doesn't sleep through the night when they said she should by 6 weeks- whatever she will get there!) She is healthy and happy and developing well.
OK so I am going to give you one more piece of advice. If you do nothing else for yourself those first few weeks... make sure you take a shower. It's small but I promise you will feel so much better!  
So new mama's all I can say is hang in there. Do the best you can. Enjoy the good moments and  survive the not so good ones. You and your baby are both learning. Love them, snuggle them and let them be little. It doesn't last forever. 

1 comment:

andrea said...

That really is good advice! I'll need to remember to share it with other people. Sometimes I think it's easier to remember and focus on the bad/annoying advice.

(I am a breastfeeding mom, but my milk takes a few days to come in, even with my 2nd kid it was 4 days. So I supplement with formula and I can't stand it when I see people say, "No formula, your body will make milk!" And I want to shout back that everyone is different, and the most important thing is that the baby be fed.)

So really, that is the best advice that she gave you, because really it's YOUR family and you can determine what's best!