Wednesday, July 31, 2013

Yes, we can still leave the house

This past Saturday we went hiking with some friends
The Badgers
They have a baby girl who is 4 weeks older than Charlotte
Her name is Scarlett
And her and C are so cute together I can't even stand it.
Every time Charlotte and Scarlett are together- we get photos
Because that's what you do when you have cute babies.
We have been very fortunate with this move to have met some awesome people
The Badger family is definitely one of those families you just click with
I never thought I would love it here as much as I do- but I do
(Despite what the first picture portrays ha!)

I am thankful for carseats, baby carriers, and the ability to bring Charlotte's food with me where ever we go... and for friends who bring extra diapers (because for some reason daddy thought we only needed 3 ha!)
Thanks Badgers we had a blast! 

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Dear Charlotte

Dear Charlotte,
You are growing up far too quickly my little love. It's breaking mommy's heart just a tiny bit. Even daddy is sad. "She used to be as big as a Chipotle burrito! I can't hold her in one arm anymore!" Sometimes it just smacks me right in the face that we have a daughter who is someday going to be a teenager (yikes). Because while the days may seem long the years are short. Now, believe it or not your ol' mama was semi-cool at some point in her life. And before I loose that cool I thought I would make some promises to you as you grow up.

I promise:
-To never give you an awful haircut unless you give it to yourself. In that case you have to deal with it. Hence why mommy has a whole lot of pictures with a bowl cut.
-On your 14th birthday we will go and get you NICE makeup AND you will get makeup lessons.
-To let you have your ears pierced but only one hold in each ear and definitely no more piercings anywhere else. This is nonnegotiable.
-To buy you good face wash and acne system at the first sign of your first zit
-To let you go on GROUP dates at 16 but no exclusive boyfriends until after High School... because High School is dumb and so are High School boys (although you won't feel this way at the time... but trust me on this one... wait until college... dating in college is so much more fun)
-To REALLY talk to you about sex (yes you WILL be asking me about that someday)
-To trust you as long as you deserve it and earn it
-To not let you quit something because it's the easy way out
-To let you play hooky from school once a year without it being a sick day
-To have mommy and Charlotte days
-To make your birthday's special! Especially since you share that day with Daddy
-To be there when you buy your first bra, purse, pair of heels, and wedding dress. Just like my mom was there for me. 
-To teach you how to bake.
-To let you dress yourself... unless its either unsafe, inappropriate, or will shame you later in life
-To tell you I love you every day even if you tell me you hate me... because I know you will probably say it... and I also know you won't mean it.

I know I will make tons of promises to you throughout your life... but let's start with these for now...
Love, Mommy

Monday, July 29, 2013

It's OK...

Even though I am no longer "working" I still dread Mondays. I dread when Devin goes back to work. I feel like Charlotte knows when the day comes that Daddy won't be with us all day. Even if he is outside doing his manly things at least he is around (currently he is working on the playset... I don't have the heart to tell him Charlotte won't be using it for a few months... or at least a year...). We are, however, going on our very first kid free date night this week. I am both excited and terrified at the same time...

(Skirt and top: J Crew. Pearls: Gift. Sunglasses: Ralph Lauren)

It's OK...
-That I hated the way the shoes I wore with this outfit looked (hence no photo)
-And that I wish I wore a belt
-That I still have one day a week where I stay in pajamas... all day long
-That some days my biggest accomplishment is that I worked out and got a shower
-That I totally walked in on a dude peeing (yes peeing)... in my defense he didn't lock the door
-To only want to eat ice cream for dinner
-To look forward to nap time
-That I pretty much only "do" my hair on Sundays
-To still have 10 lbs to go to my "before Charlotte" weight... it feels like more
-To wish I had a live in chef
-That my kid loves her paci
-To want the best of both worlds
-That I am already dreading winter
-To be homesick
-And "mom sick" (aka when you are homesick for your mom)
-That these hips no longer lie... I get it Shakira...I get it...
-To be afraid someone is going to facetime me on one of those days
-That I have a bazillion pins that I want to do on pinterest... and haven't even gotten started

What's OK with you today?

Friday, July 26, 2013

A family was born

Warning: A very long post with some details that might not be suitable for all audiences. 
As I sit here with spit up on my shirt, dog tired, ginormous bags under my eyes and not to mention wearing the same pajamas I was wearing this morning, I can't help but be grateful for this little life that has been entrusted to us. It's been 2 weeks since she came and I figured I had probably better write something down before I forget those details about that day that are already a bit fuzzy. 

The week leading up to labor I was sick. And I mean SICK. I had a horrible cold. I had an achy body, a cough (which I still had a week postpartum), stuffy nose, the whole bit. I kept telling Devin "If I go into labor right now I am going to be so ticked!" I went home early from work the entire week before. Girls from my ward threw me an awesome baby shower 3 days before and I came home and crashed I was so tired. In fact, the day before she came I thought I was going to DIE at church it was so dang hot and I couldn't stop coughing. That Sunday Devin's brother Jarom was passing through town and wanted to come by and take us out for dinner for Devin's birthday (which is May 20th). He took us to Benihana, we took Lucy on a nice long walk on a local trail, came home and the boys gave Lucy a good brushing... and that was pretty much it. We convinced Jarom to stay and head up to Wyoming in the morning (and thank goodness he did!) We went to bed around 10 that night.

Que: May 20th, 2013.
1:20 am
I got up to go pee (as per usual) at the same time I ALWAYS do which is around 1am. I got back into bed and was dozing off when I felt a little trickle. I was touching Devin's hand at the time (apparently I was tickling his fingers) and I stopped and said, "D...Devin? Um... I think my water just broke." He knew something was weird because I NEVER call him Devin (usually it's "love" or something like that). His response? "Huh!?" Another trickle. "Yeah I think my water is breaking." So I jumped up out of bed (rather quickly for a 9 month pregnant chick) and made it to the toilet just in time for Devin to open the door and hear the gush of my bag of waters. I said, "Yeah, that's not pee!"and Devin said, "What do we do?" I tried to get up but I had another gush so I had him run and get the pads out of my hospital bag (I had been forewarned that I would continue to leak fluid) I had him gather everything he wanted to take to the hospital and install the carseat while I called the doctor and my mom. I went into baby's room and made all the calls. The on call nurse was driving me crazy! "yes... and how do you know you are in labor?" Um... lady... my water broke. "Are you sure" I'm pretty sure I know the difference between peeing myself and not. Devin came in while I was talking to the doctor's office and held me while I was shaking uncontrollably. "Don't we still have 4 weeks left!? I was counting on having 4 weeks left!" Devin just held me and said, "We are going to have our baby girl today!" Sorry honey- Happy Birthday was one of my mantra's throughout the day. The nurse told me to head straight to the hospital since I was 4 weeks early. She even told me NOT to shower (which I was not happy about but whatever). Jarom installed our carseat, Devin packed his bag, my mom immediately got onto the computer and found the first flight out and we got into the car and headed to the hospital. We were timing my "contractions" but they were inconsistent so I mostly gave up. Of course, as soon as we pulled out of our neighborhood Devin ran over a bunny. Dead bunny. I'm glad I didn't see it as an omen. We tried to stay calm- mostly just small talk on the way there. "We can't ever get rid of this crappy Subaru if you give birth in the car! So just hang on until we get to the hospital OK?" When we got to the hospital we had to remember where the ER was (since it was about 2 am by the time we got there I had to be admitted through the ER). Walking in there was a nurse walking out who gave us a good "woohoo!" Of course when we got there I had to tell them why I was there, "well I'm in labor" and why do you think you are in labor "Well you see my water broke" Oh okay well let me get labor and delivery down here for you. Luckily I had pre-registered so they had me on file. Up to labor and delivery we went. I had to change into those lovely gowns (which I was contemplating buying my own cute one... so glad I didn't. Ladies don't waste your money- just wear the ugly ones they have there. They just get ruined) and those sexy mesh underwear. Pee in a cup. Let me check and make sure your water really DID break. Let me hook you up to a bunch of monitors. Okay let's see if your body kicks into labor on it's own. We took a nap. 6:30 am the on call doctor comes in. She checks me. (Why didn't someone WARN me that those internal exams HURT like crazy! I wasn't prepared for that! I cried every time!) "Well it looks like your body isn't doing much. Your water broke 5 hours ago and we only have a certain window of time for you to deliver before infection becomes a factor so I would like to start you on pitocin to help your body move things along." I thought I was going to cry... again. I didn't want to be on pitocin! I have heard how much that stuff sucks! It makes labor worse! No no no! Devin and I asked if I could walk around for a bit to see if it would help my body go into labor. I was given 20 minutes because they had to monitor me laying down for 30 before they started the meds. 20 minutes of walking and 30 minutes of monitoring later the evil drip began. They still let me walk. I walked for about an hour and then came back to the room and got on my birthing ball (which was really just my exercise ball from home). Oh and did I mention that the only thing they let me eat was a blue popcicle? Yeah that was delicious. I was on the ball from about 10-1. They kept increasing my pitocin every half hour. Ladies that ball was my saving grace! Devin sat with me and held me as the contrations came. I tried to get up at one point and sat right back down on my ball. It took off a lot of pressure and was super helpful. My friend Cherie came and hung out for a bit and then she went and picked up my mom at the airport. Around 1ish they checked me again. I sobbed the entire time she was checking me. Devin held my hand. "It just hurts so bad!" I remember saying. I was at about a 5-6. I asked to get into the tub. No bubbles please. At this point I was so exhausted I was falling asleep in the water in between contractions. Devin was there and never left me. He helped me focus my breathing, told me to hold on and that it was almost over. He sat on the edge of that tub, on the floor, he knelt. He did whatever he could to be there for me. Finally at about 3:30 I couldn't take it anymore. I was sobbing as I looked into Devin's eyes and said, "I just can't do this anymore! I just can't. I have tried so hard but I am so tired and it hurts so bad!" Devin and I had discussed pain meds prior to labor. We didn't want any. Especially not an epidural. They freaked us both out. So when he said, "It's ok love you have done an amazing job, do you want me to call the nurse to get you some meds?" I cried more and felt like a failure when I said, "yes!" the nurse came in and asked what I wanted and I said, "I don't care just make this go away!" at about this time Cherie and my mom were back. I didn't want anyone talking I just wanted quiet (we know that now if there is ever a next time). Out of the tub I came with a huge huge huge contraction. I grabbed on to Devin and he held me while the nurse dried me off. They called the anesthesiologist and said I was next in line but in the mean time they gave me fentinol to relax me. I can't remember that anesthesiologists name but he was my new best friend. Once it kicked in I was pissed I had waited so long to have one. And then I was even MORE pissed to find out that I was at 9cm. But at that point the meds were working and I was smiling and quoting movie lines. If anyone remembers seeing "what to expect when you're expecting" when the blonde chick is asked what her pain level is at and she said "I would say about a 2 because I'm smilin'!"At about 5 pm my nurse checked me and I was fully dilated and ready to push so she called my doctor who said that she would rather wait an hour and let the baby "passively descend". So we waited and I tried to rest. At around 6:30 the work began. I was lucky that I could tell when a contraction was coming and when to push and how. I pushed and pushed and felt like I was getting no where. My nurses assured me that I was. Everyone else was counting up during my contractions "1,2,3" but Devin knew what I wanted even if I didn't and he gave me a countdown. Guess it comes from launching all those rockets into space but it really did help. I told people to shut up more than once so I could focus. Devin had a glass of ice water that he kept dipping a washcloth into and draping over my forehead in between contractions. He was the only one who was allowed to talk during contractions. I told him not to look- but he did anyway. I could tell when he did because he would say, "Oh my gosh bug! You are doing so good! Almost there!" My doctor hung around until about 7:15 and then she left to who knows where. At about 7:30 I gave a good push and the nurse said, "Whoa go get the doctor!" SO MUCH PRESSURE! I felt like it took the doctor forever to come back into the room. One more good push. I heard my mom and Devin exclaim "Oh my gosh!" I opened my eyes, and there she was... being placed on my chest and screaming. I looked at Devin and we all cried. I checked to make sure she was really a girl (YES!) that she had all of her fingers and toes. I just kept staring. She was so purple... and perfect. Instant love x 1000. Devin cut the cord and followed her around while they did her measurements. 6 lbs 2.2 oz 19 3/4 inches long and perfect. Next thing I knew I looked down and saw my doctor sewing... "Um did I tear!?" No answer. Devin asked, "Is Whitney OK?" as my doctor pulls blood soaked gauze one after another out of me. I lost a ton of blood so a lot of details are lost to me at this point. I can't remember when everyone left. I can't remember what anyone said really- only that they were going to try and move me to postpartum at 9. Mom and Devin held our baby. I held my baby. They didn't end up moving me to postpartum until almost midnight because I was so dizzy and nauseated from the blood loss. Devin went with baby to get her first bath. When he came back and took her hat off there was this big poof of blonde hair! I am still in shock about that. Since she was early they had to test her blood sugar before every feeding which was really hard to watch. But of course she was perfect. So many people came in and out of our room while we were there we couldn't wait to leave and bring her home! I am so grateful for the excellent care we received and that my baby is healthy and at home with us. As soon as it was over I said, "Ok I could probably do that again" haha we will see. For now- we are loving on this sweet little babe and trying to get into the grove of being parents.

And now... lots of photos from that day
Probably the most unflattering I will ever allow myself to be
And thank goodness for breastfeeding and post baby weight loss (ha!)

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Dear Mom... I get it now

Dear Mom, 
I get it now!
I get why you ALWAYS wanted me to call you whenever I got somewhere (and you still do)
I get why you worked so hard to make sure I had all the opportunities you never did
I get why I wasn't allowed to date until I was 16 (although I am thinking of changing this rule to 21... that seems like a good age... if ever...)
I get why you cried when I went away to college
I get why some days we had McDonald's for dinner because you were too tired to cook
I get why you went all crazy when chicks at school were mean to me
And why you always answer your phone no matter what time it is
I get why I did ballet and piano and flute and softball and cheerleading
I get why you said "it's not a sin to be poor but it is a sin to be dirty"
I get why you sweep the floor everyday (will it EVER be clean!?)
I also get why you and grandma always said, ' "they say" is the biggest liar in the world'
I get why you always drove me to Santa Barbara for back to school shopping
I get that you were (and are) smarter than I ever gave you credit for
and that I really was a stupid teenager but hopefully I wasn't too bad
I also get why you always wanted me to wear sunscreen
And why you hated for me to be on trampolines
I'm sure there are a lot more things I need to get
But I am gettin' it slowly
Thanks mom for teaching me to be who I am
And for being the best mom ever
Seriously... ever.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

5 baby gear favorites

It's funny the things you think you need before you have a baby. My nursing pillows? I never use them!   But now that she is getting older and bigger I might start. But my moby wrap? The only time I got it out was to try it before Charlotte was born.
I know I haven't been a mommy for very long but but here are 5 things I use on a daily basis

#1. The Ergo

 One of the best baby purchases we made! Seriously. She absolutely loves it. We have been on walks, farmer's markets, to the aquarium etc. and she just hangs out in it. We were lucky enough to find a brand new one at Marshalls for $60!
#2. The munchkin

People if you aren't using a diaper pail where are you putting your dirty diapers? I use this sucker... um... 10+ times a day. I really love this one because it has a refillable baking soda airfreshener (which only requires you have baking soda on hand... and lets face it who doesn't?)
#3. Swaddlepod

I am the absolute worst swaddler ever. Ever. Devin is the master. But usually he heads off to bed before the swaddling needs to be done. These? You just put them in it and zip them up! Can't mess it up even if you tried. Alas, they only make them for newborns... so now I am having to learn how to swaddle.
#4. Play Gym

We have 2 play gyms and Charlotte loves both. When we get up in the morning she goes straight to her play gym and she hangs out there for about an hour and she plays and plays and plays. I also love that we can change out the toys on these things in case she gets bored with the ones she has. We use these daily.
#5. Nylon Headbands

When Charlotte was first born none of her headbands fit her. Once she started getting bigger I noticed that some of her headbands were leaving marks on her forehead! And they only came in one size fits all!? Then I discovered nylon headbands. They are so light and stretchy and you can switch out the bows. I am obsessed. I read that they can wear them until they are 2! I am a believer. If you have a baby girl... get some of these! I found them on etsy for $1 a piece! Can't beat that.